Thursday, March 31, 2011

Why I *Really* Love Eliot Spencer

Oh, sure there’s the obvious – Christian Kane is very attractive. His blue-gray eyes twinkle with the promise of adventure at the very least a good time. His overall look inspires thoughts of a night out at the bar being dared into riding the mechanical bull or maybe an evening on a riverbank watching fireflies and talking about dangerous secrets in hushed tones, safe under the cover of night and in the knowledge that when he looks at you he knows those secrets anyway. He works out (at least once in a while) and it shows in his well-muscled arms, thighs, and butt. All of which inspire much less romantic thoughts of tangled sheets, messy kitchens, and maybe a grass stain or five.

All of those physical qualities are attractive and blossom beautifully in a girl’s fertile imagination. But these attributes are only the covering and whatever fantasies my writer’s mind dreams up are just that, fantasies, bedtime stores for a grown woman. Don’t worry, I might write like a crazed fan, but I’m well aware this is all in fun.

All of Christian’s fine and (superficial) attributes are shared by Eliot Spencer. However, Eliot has a couple personality traits, which have given me a new way of understanding and dealing with my own frustrations. First of all, Eliot owns up to the choices he’s made. He might wish for different options or the ability to take advantage of new opportunities but he doesn’t dwell on it. He accepts what is and shrugs off what he can’t change. [The Studio Job]

In “The Tap Out Job”, Eliot gives Sophie a glimpse into his past, when he explains that the men train for such a brutal sport (MMA) partly as an alternative option to farming or machine work which could dry up at any time and will keep them and their families in such a depressed area, and partly as a way to develop a measure of control over a life that seems completely out of their sphere of influence. They can work hard to improve their performance and through a direct result of their performance gain a chance to move beyond one small town. Plus, they have an excuse to vent their frustration by beating up their opponents. Clearly Eliot understands these motives and maybe shared them when he first made his promise to the United States Government.

Through his own training and hard work Eliot has improved his performance outside of the ring. Although he doesn’t talk about his career (or life) some inferences can be made about the “Retrieval Specialist”. He clearly has extensive survival training and ample opportunity to use it, for example. Eliot’s training, experience, success, and the demand for his services has provided him with a level of confidence those Iowa boys can only dream of achieving. He approaches each fight with respect for his opponent(s) abilities and faith in his own abilities. His personal confidence spills over into every aspect of his life. He makes choices and lives with the benefits or consequences. He knows when he makes the choice that he is capable of handling the outcome, whichever it may be.

It is this self-confidence that draws me to Eliot. I want to draw on it for myself. My “bad guys” don’t try to kill me, beat me bloody, or shoot me, but instead I find myself frozen with fear over the “what-ifs” and unable to make the decision. Then there’s the fact that some days I just really want to punch something to release the frustration.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Where Have All the Young Men Gone?

I shouldn't be writing. I have a class starting in less than half an hour, but this can't wait.

This morning, during my commute, I heard the story of Army Sgt 1st Class Jared Monti who today will receive the Medal of Honor, posthumously. Monti is the second soldier fighting in Afghanistan to receive our nation's highest military honor. I don't know this man. I never heard of him before this morning's 10 minute radio broadcast and yet, I can barely form the words to describe the pain and anger I feel over his death. The anger I feel that a man who was described by his comrades as easy to talk to and protective of his soldiers. From the description shared by Staff Sgt. John Hawes it is clear that Monti tolerated little nonsense when it came to the safety of his soldiers. Monti insisted that he be the one to retrieve a lost comrade during his final fight against Taliban forces.

Hearing this story reminded me of the folk song: "Where Have All the Flowers Gone". American folk singer Pete Seeger wrote this song in 1961 and based his version on an earlier Russian folk song written between WWI and WWII. The sentiment expressed in this song--the loss of an entire generation of young men to graveyards and war--clearly crosses cultural and language boundaries and even generational ones. I was not alive to witness the loss of a generation to the jungles of Vietnam nor was I alive to witness the loss of a generation to the forests of Europe, jungles of the South Pacific, and the deserts of Africa. Yet, I am alive to witness the loss of my generation to the deserts and mountains of Afghanistan and Iraq.

This is what angers me more than anything. Sgt. Monti was a unique individual a man who wanted to serve his country. A man who understood the value and importance of what he was doing and who, in the end, reconciled himself to his life and his choices. Ultimately, I am in awe of him and others like him. I am saddened by the fact that he will not be around to encourage others to cultivate the same sense of honor and valor.

Here is a link to the original article from NPR: "A Medal of Honor for Sgt. Monti, Who Went to Save His Man"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Have you ever actually fainted? I have, a couple times. I got very sick-probably a stomach flu-about 3 years ago. I couldn't eat or drink anything for 4 days. Don't worry, I'll spare you the fabulous details. The first symptom I noticed was a overwhelming fatigue; really drained. After about a day without food I was starting to feel woozy while lying down. Later (but I'm not sure how much) I was in the bathroom when I got hot and cold all over at the same time, my lips got that tingly feeling like when my foot falls asleep. I really just wanted to lie down on the cool floor and take a little rest. I seriously frightened my dad (the only member of the house not sick) when he tried to open the door but couldn't cause my feet were blocking it. He was the one who explained that I fainted and insisted that I get back into bed. I remember arguing with him, saying that I was much more comfortable where I was. I mumbled that I was tired of lying in bed and wanted to stay on the cool floor. Fainting was the oddest feeling I ever experienced. It was really an overwhelming desire to sleep.

Since I started back to classes full time I've been exposed to lots of information about the N1H1 Virus and the necessity of flu shots and the different ways I can protect myself and others if I should happen to develop flu-like symptoms. This has got me thinking about the last time I got flu-like symptoms-granted a stomach flu rather than a head cold. This combined with reading historic romances-where women sometimes faint for effect-got me thinking about fainting.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Back to School

My Autumnal Resolution.

I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions. January feels so similar to December. Autumn has always been my favorite season. There's something about the smell of leaves the quality of the air & cool breezes. It's back to school. This year, I'm back to a full campus & a full schedule. I'm enjoying being surrounded by activity. I enjoy having a list of things to accomplish & even more I enjoy accomplishing them & scratching them off the list. As long as I keep thinking about those things I want to accomplish as future events, they loom large in my mind; they grow ever larger, darker, & twisted like a hedge maze out of a Gothic novel. When they are immediate things, tasks that can be broken up or accomplished in full within a few hours or a couple days, they remain bright & shiny beacons; the more I scratch off the list, the lighter I feel.

Here's to a semester--a year (two semesters)--full of bright & shiny beacons.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Ask Apricot

A big Thank you! to Apricot from ask apricot for answering my request for fashion help. I really appriciate the time that was put in to answering my question and I'm super glad that images were included. To anyone interested in down to earth advice, I highly reccomened checking her out at ask apricot.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Money & Control

Just like the rest of the country, I’ve been having money issues. I’ve finally reached my last year of undergrad and because of the changes in lending procedures I’ve had a lot of difficulty arraigning my student loans. I did the grown up thing and set up a budget that includes all my expenses and I’ve worked out a plan that should meet that budget. At this point, I’ve put my plan into action and I’m waiting for results which, unfortunately, I don’t have control over. It’s the waiting that freaks me out.

I’m scared that my schoolwork will suffer because I’ll spend more time focusing on the money issues. Scared that I’ll feel that I have to fix the situation rather than just let it unfold and deal with the little issues as they appear.

Situations where I feel a lack of control tend to cause me more anxiety than they should. It’s as though my self-esteem is tied to my level of control. If I feel that I am in control, I value myself higher. I feel more competent when things run smoothly. However, I do have a plan that is no different from thousands of other students and other people really. Money issues are never certain for anyone. I need to remind myself that the current situation is uncertain but I’m still competent and I’ve come up with an effective plan. I just need to stick with it and be ready to adapt to slight hiccups.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Practice Makes Perfect

In keeping with my recent plan to post more, here's a flash movie review:

"Wanted" (2008)

The idea in intriguing: an office worker who has stopped caring about the trivial (and not so trivial) details of his life learns that his father was a top assassin and he inherited his father’s heightened abilities. However, the film itself seems torn between wanting to explore deep ideas of identity, fate, destiny, and the corruption of power on one hand; and fancy explosions, beautiful fight sequences, and impressive special effects on the other. As a result, the film suffers. It ends up catering to a visual audience at the expense of a plot driven audience. As a fan who enjoys and appreciates both aspects of films, I have to say that the special effects in “Wanted” far outweigh the plot. Which is unfortunate because the idea of the plot is so intriguing and there are so many more things a film, novel, or graphic novel could do with an idea like this one.