Ask Apricot

A big Thank you! to Apricot from ask apricot for answering my request for fashion help. I really appriciate the time that was put in to answering my question and I'm super glad that images were included. To anyone interested in down to earth advice, I highly reccomened checking her out at ask apricot.

Money & Control

Just like the rest of the country, I’ve been having money issues. I’ve finally reached my last year of undergrad and because of the changes in lending procedures I’ve had a lot of difficulty arraigning my student loans. I did the grown up thing and set up a budget that includes all my expenses and I’ve worked out a plan that should meet that budget. At this point, I’ve put my plan into action and I’m waiting for results which, unfortunately, I don’t have control over. It’s the waiting that freaks me out.

I’m scared that my schoolwork will suffer because I’ll spend more time focusing on the money issues. Scared that I’ll feel that I have to fix the situation rather than just let it unfold and deal with the little issues as they appear.

Situations where I feel a lack of control tend to cause me more anxiety than they should. It’s as though my self-esteem is tied to my level of control. If I feel that I am in control, I value myself higher. I feel more competent when things run smoothly. However, I do have a plan that is no different from thousands of other students and other people really. Money issues are never certain for anyone. I need to remind myself that the current situation is uncertain but I’m still competent and I’ve come up with an effective plan. I just need to stick with it and be ready to adapt to slight hiccups.

Practice Makes Perfect

In keeping with my recent plan to post more, here's a flash movie review:

"Wanted" (2008)

The idea in intriguing: an office worker who has stopped caring about the trivial (and not so trivial) details of his life learns that his father was a top assassin and he inherited his father’s heightened abilities. However, the film itself seems torn between wanting to explore deep ideas of identity, fate, destiny, and the corruption of power on one hand; and fancy explosions, beautiful fight sequences, and impressive special effects on the other. As a result, the film suffers. It ends up catering to a visual audience at the expense of a plot driven audience. As a fan who enjoys and appreciates both aspects of films, I have to say that the special effects in “Wanted” far outweigh the plot. Which is unfortunate because the idea of the plot is so intriguing and there are so many more things a film, novel, or graphic novel could do with an idea like this one.

Why I go so long between posts:

I generally feel that things ought to be reviewed and edited before published. I am much more comfortable with my writing after letting it stew for a bit. I regurgitate the words in a fairly random order and then leave them to settle into the page. Then I come back and reorder those words, cut some out, add some, etc. Unfortunately, I rarely reach the point where I actually publish what I write. Sometimes it’s as simple as when I go back to what I’ve written, I’m not in the same headspace and no longer have the same passion for that idea. Other times I let my mind get in the way and convince me that what I’ve written is uninteresting.

What I’m working up to saying: I want to use my blog as practice publishing. Rather than saving my regurgitated words on my hard drive I’ll try to save (some) on here. I can always return to those words and rework them after they’ve been published. We’ll see how well that works, shall we?

Snail Mail

Who doesn't like to get home after a long day and open the mail box to find... *gasp* Something's in there! Only when you pull it out of the dark box, you find it's... *sigh* My electric bill or yet another pre-approved credit card offer.

My proposition: An intimate mailing exchange. What you get: once a month, you get a greeting card sized envelope of fun! Pictures, a note, something crafty. Whatever surprise you get, it's not a bill & it's not junk! What you have to do: Give me your mailing address. I promise, I will only share addresses with people on this list who have agreed to join this list for fun only - no selling things. And, once a month, you put together a card for your recipient.

Here's the skinny, the list will rotate so everyone gets something from everyone else. To help keep costs down, don't send anything that won't fit in a greeting card envelope.

Interested in joining up? Leave a comment with an email address or contact me via twitter @tullymcq

Spring Cleaning

Well, since the sky is threatening to downpour any second, I elected to postpone the laundry until tomorrow. Instead I swept and moped the kitchen floor. I never understand why, but cleaning - I'm talking serious cleaning here - always makes me feel better. It's as though scrubbing the kitchen floor or wiping down the windows somehow wipes a layer of grime off me too - metaphorically speaking. It's a feeling I enjoy and when I'm in that pleasant space (like now) I wonder why I don't clean more often. It really doesn't take that long and the happy feeling that I get from it more then balances the time I spent doing the work. Plus, there's the added benefit of listening to music, something that always speaks to my soul.

Well, I'm off to take advantage of this euphoria by continuing the productivity.

Some thoughts on Romance in _Twilight_

Mizwrite posted today about the altered standards of romance because of Twilight. As an adult reading the novel (cause I've only read Twilight so far), I approached it with open eyes for the roller coaster of romance but I wonder how much young girls really understand about the story. I mean, if Feminists have problems with Prince Charming, they should have huge problems with Edward Cullen. Personally, I don't see a problem with fairy tales because young children begin to understand the difference between fantasy and reality pretty quickly and fortunatly fairy tales have plenty of inter-personal reactions that are unrealistic this makes the "happily ever after" romance seem more unrealistic as well. Believe me, I completely understand that there are still problems with Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, including problems that continue to plague women and men through adulthood, and many first marriages.

In the comments to the post, the issue of domestic violence was brought up and I completely agree. Both Edward and Bella are obsessed with one another and the fact that Edward must fight against his nature to suck Bella's blood is problematic. I also agree that Edward's fight against his nature is more a fight against addiction than the desire to hurt Bella. There is none of the usual literary reference to domestic violence - I specify literary because reality and literature are two very different mediums. Although the key phrases used in literature that reference domestic violence (i.e. "if I can't have her/him no one can" and others) frequently appear in real life, there are many other clues in real life that are not stressed in literature.

For me, the bigger problem is the mutual obsession that Edward and Bella have for one another. This type of obsession is frequently waved off as unimportant. But, as the Prince says in the final speech of Romeo and Juliet: "For never was a story of more woe/Than this of Juliet and her Romeo." Although most of the story centers around the prejudice of the two families, I also believe there is a strong message advocating waiting and growing before committing oneself to a partner for the rest of her/his life. Meyers does acknowledge this point, but overall I am left with a dangerous impression of the nature of romance.